I spent most of today doing research and resting as I became quite ill last night and want to nip it in the bud. This quiet time presented an opportunity to distill my objectives ie why am I here and what do I want to accomplish?
Introspection before creation has never been my strong point. I usually let an idea unfold without question, work intuitively, and afterwards approach the work with an objective eye. But lately I am finding solace in researching new ideas and alternate direction, yet still want to be open to change. I find this whole thing gets back to letting go, holding on, and when to do what!
Quiet dominates the atmosphere here as there are no televisions and guests are asked to keep music very low so as not to disturb anyone. This quiet is all consuming and admittedly takes some getting used to. But in the quiet there is no getting around a heightened awareness of self –and self doubt was quickly winning out, wreaking havoc on my psyche. So I took a walk to my studio in hopes of shaking off this negativity and noticed something in a moment that had eluded me completely yesterday while working in there for hours. Scrawled on a piece of masking tape that was stuck above the sink were two little words: Be Brave. These words have been pulling at me all day
Voyager, encaustic collage on box, 6x16in, 2012
A few years ago a man visiting our gallery commented on how brave artists have to be and that really resonated with me as I’ve never considered art-making to require courage. But it does-and should. Otherwise why do it? And I also realized today that my cowardly insecurities are a natural progression (at least for me) in moving forward-and beyond. The big ominous F word (failure, not the other) is a casualty that could happen regardless –whether I take that leap of faith or quietly stand in the sidelines while others make the flight. Being Brave is about taking risks and bearing consequences. It is about being honest and being open and being ready. I think I am.
Voyager, encaustic collage on panel, 6x16in, 2012
These two paintings were made just before leaving for Ireland. Unfortunately travelling with encaustic materials was not an option, although I did bring some pigment crayons and heat gun.
HI Jan
ReplyDeleteThis is so incredible that you saw the words Be Brave. I had the same experience at the Tyrone Guthrie. In my cottage, I found a small slate stone in the shape of a heart. Someone had scratched on it: Be Brave. What a wonderful gift to leave behind. I'm glad you received the same words too, and at the same residency. Such supportive words to hear.